The car ride was silent. Brendon didn’t allow Ryan to talk, because if Ryan talked he might protest about where they were going and he wouldn’t have none of that, although a blindfold might’ve done the job. So the music beamed, setting an upbeat mood in the car even with the silence. But there wasn’t any previous awkwardness.  

Ryan glared through the window as they passed a cemetery. It seemed much brighter than the rest of town, even though it was literally life-less. But at every cemetery, the grass was always cut to tip-top shape, and it was green, so evenly contrasted with the rainbow bouquets. The bushes were trimmed and the trees reaching to the stars.

Ryan slightly turned to his left, grabbing his stomach at the overbearing nausea, “Brendon, I have to tell you something,” he spewed, but Brendon shrugged him off and told him there was time for that later.

***

When they finally arrived to a stop, Brendon made sure to keep Ryan in the car as he grabbed a couple of supplies from the trunk of his car. Then he unpacked a couple of things from the basket he was carrying and made his way back to the car to open the door for Ryan.

“Are we here yet?” Ryan chuckled into his words.

“Ha, ha, at least I was finally able to keep you quiet for more than a minute.” Brendon joked, but he really didn’t have a problem with Ryan talking, whatever little he said always had some importance to it.

Ryan laughed again at the truth of the statement, and looked around his surroundings as Brendon led him up a hill by his hand. An orange, barely cloudy day painted the sky in brilliant colors, shadowing a great willow tree perched next to a green hill with small patches of dandelions sticking out amongst the clovers.

Ryan couldn’t stop smiling. “Where are we?” he whispered, afraid to disrupt the peaceful setting.

Brendon felt accomplished for making Ryan smile. “I’m not exactly sure, but I stumbled upon this place a while ago. I’ve only been here a couple of times when I needed to clear my head.”

“It’s beautiful,” Ryan exclaimed, “almost as beautiful as you.” He finished and placed his hands on Brendon’s neck, pressing his forehead against Brendon’s. They shared a long, drawn-out kiss before Brendon turned Ryan’s attention to the picnic basket on the blanket he had laid out.

“I’d hate to ask, but what’s the occasion, is there something I’m forgetting?” Ryan wondered, hoping he hadn’t upset Brendon considering the awed look on his face.

“Ryan, it’s your birthday!” Brendon cried, wondering how one forgets that date. Then, while Ryan tried to answer the question himself, Brendon handed him a turkey sandwich and pointed to the sunset. It’s never too late to continue a tradition, he figured and maybe the thought of his mother would bring back some happier memories.

***

Three contented silences and a moon later, Brendon brought out the raspberry muffins. Made from scratch, he was sure to put 23 raspberries specially inside Ryan’s muffin, by the time he had everything planned out it was almost a subconscious thing.

Ryan stared at Brendon with intense eyes and his lips curled. “Why do you have to be so amazing?” That caused Brendon to giggle and blush, like a pre-teen would their first date. He bought it as a compliment, and not a serious question.

“So Ryan, I kind of have something for you….” Brendon fiddled with a loose string on his shirt.

“Something else? Haha, you really don’t have to do that, this was such a big surprise.” Ryan responded, bewildered.

“Oh, really it’s nothing.”  The night was smothering any obvious light and Brendon went to his car and turned on some soft rock ballads while grabbing something out of his car as well, hiding it behind his back. He presented himself before Ryan, and asked to share a dance. Ryan, of course accepted, but before such thing happened Brendon revealed the thing behind his back as a dark jar. As he hastily opened it, six dozen fireflies swarmed out into the night air like shooting stars.

Pressing his head to Ryan’s chest, Brendon softly said, “Make a wish.” Ryan eyed him without saying anything but his eyes seemed to do all the talking and as he placed his lips upon Brendon’s, the gesture showed Brendon that Ryan didn’t need to make a wish; he was with the one that he loved.

***

This night was going to be one that both boys would want to last forever, and in an attempt to do so, they laid down on the multi-fabric quilt huddled together. Most of the fireflies didn’t go far and stayed within a couple foots reach above them, looking like they were farther away than the stars.

“You know, my mom would always make up constellations of her own because the ones she was taught never made any sense. I don’t blame her.” Brendon’s eyes fluttered open at Ryan’s clear memories.

“What do you see up there?” He simply asked.

“I see her. And I see a heart that starts with the North Star. There’s also some sort of dog and a smiley face.” Ryan turned around to face Brendon, “And I see you. The brightest star there is.”

Brendon smiles into the crook of Ryan’s neck, his feelings, more than mutual. “Ryan?”

“Mhmm?” He huffs, laying on his back staring at the stars as his arm falls asleep from Brendon’s head being placed in it.

“I know you think she’s gone, but she’s not. Not everything that you can’t see isn’t there. Just because someone’s smiling doesn’t mean they’re happy. Just because someone’s not, doesn’t mean they aren’t.”

“Hmm. You sound just like her, always thinking, always finding some way to make it. Doing everything for the best. Always hoping for it.” Brendon smiles at the thought. He’s gotten more curious as to how Ryan’s mother died, but some things don’t need to be said, after all she’s still a part of him. She’s not really gone.

Another contented silence sent the boys dazing slowly off to a sleep before Brendon asked one more question.

“Ryan, what was it you wanted to tell me today?”

“Oh, it can wait.” Ryan said bringing Brendon closer, till his head was softly buried against Ryan‘s neck, not wanting to ever let him go. As they were both kidnapped of their consciousness by the night, the last of the fireflies illuminated what the moon didn’t. A soft breeze flew the dandelions seeds across the hill and the night was as mysteriously as silent as ever.